


running off to the (blood soaked) stars

by foodandbooksandthings



Series: running off to the (blood soaked) stars [1]
Category: Community (TV), Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossover, Doctor Who/Community Crossover, F/M, Master!Jeff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3634890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foodandbooksandthings/pseuds/foodandbooksandthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She said yes without thinking because it was Jeff's eyes that were pleading with her and it was Jeff's hands that (roughly) cupped her face and it was Jeff that she saw but she was quick to learn (or maybe not so quick) that this wasn't Jeff. Jeff Winger was a good man with a good heart (it was part of the reason she fell in love with him). But the Master isn't a good man. He isn't a man at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	running off to the (blood soaked) stars

**Author's Note:**

> This serves as an inspired sequel to avaritia-90's two-shot "Louder than Sirens or Bells" on LJ.  
> Part 1: http://avaritia-90.livejournal.com/12779.html  
> Part 2: http://avaritia-90.livejournal.com/12929.html 
> 
> I definitely recommend that you look it up and read it (it's freaking awesome) and it'll help you understand some aspects to this story and nods I make to her's but you don't necessarily need it to understand this one. Even if you're not familiar with DW, I still recommend you give all of these a chance. You just might like it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything Community, Doctor Who and I give full credit to avaritia-90 for the inspiration (thank you for being so cool with this!) You're awesome.

** _All you really need to know is this:_ **

**The Master went into hiding, became human in the form of Jeff Winger and when the Master wakes up and realizes who he is and he asks Annie to go traveling with him and she says yes. Unlike in "Louder than Sirens or Bells", this takes place post season 5 finale.**

**Also there's a lot of angst.**

**I'm sorry.**

* * *

 

She misses him.

She misses him so much and it becomes this physical ache inside of her.

It's always there.

Especially when she's looking into his eyes.

* * *

She said yes because it was Jeff's eyes that were pleading with her and it was his smirk that made her heart skip a beat and it was his hands that (roughly) cupped her face (not at all soft and tender in the way she was used to) and it was Jeff that she saw but she was quick to learn (or maybe not so quick) that  _this wasn't Jeff_.

Jeff, as vain as he was and as much of an asshole he could be, was a good man with a good heart.

It was part of the reason she fell in love with him.

The Master isn't a good man.

He isn't a man at all.

* * *

The Master, she soon finds out, is childish, a maniac, hateful, spiteful, vengeful, angry, volatile, possessive and she learns (and she isn't sure if this makes her happy or weary or maybe both) that she means something to him (the way he growls and glares to any male or female, humans or aliens that dare to look her way are a slight tip off).

She won't call it love (she's fairly certain he doesn't know how too).

 _Jeff_  loved her.

Jeff Winger, with his obsessive vanity and his little small smiles and his oh-so-not platonic shoulder touching and his protective nature of her and their friends and the heart breaking looks he would send her way when he thought she wasn't looking and  _dammit;,_ she's blinking away tears yet again and not for the first time today.

The Master sees her discretely wiping away her tears and from the corner of her eye she sees him clenching his jaw, something flashing in his eyes and her heart starts pounding (she's not sure if it's from fear or from something else) but he just stares at her for a moment, then turns away without saying a word. She feels him dismissing her presence and it's like she's not even there.

She wonders if this was worth it.

* * *

Most of the time, she can't believe this is her life. She's traveling among the stars and among planets that very few back home could even hope to dream of (all though she thinks Abed wouldn't have any trouble imagining any of this), with a man (no,  _not_  a man) who used to be and isn't any longer the man she used to love.

Only sometimes he is.

She sees it in flashes. Sometimes he'll say something about his hair or he shoots her a very familiar, longing look but a split second later it's gone as if it were never there.

Once he calls her  _'Milady'_  and she freezes because suddenly there's an ache so strong it rips through her heart and she can't breathe. He sees the look on her face and his face flashes with… is it hurt? She doesn't know because just like with everything else, it's gone in a split second and he carries on as if nothing happened (she doesn't know what to make of that).

He never calls her ' _Milady'_  again.

* * *

The Master is a handful. She tries to keep him out of trouble when they're out visiting some planet but he loves chaos and brings it and causes it wherever they go.

Most of the time they end up running for their lives from some fire or some mob or a building (or town) he's managed to destroy (once he started a civil war— don't even ask) and he's always pulling her by the hand (it's something else she doesn't quite know what to make of or if she even should) and laughing his ass off.

She tells herself she sticks with him to keep him from murdering anybody.

She's got her morals and values and she believes in things like truth and justice and hope and doing the right thing (he doesn't understand why and he rolls his eyes and scoffs when she brings it up but it makes things slightly easier because Jeff was the same way and it's nice to know that despite her world turning upside down, some things stay the same) and she's not going to change herself for anything.

She's managed to keep him and his actions from actually hurting anybody and she always makes sure that the damage he leaves behind him is both repairable and not death threatening.

In the beginning (when she was alone with her thoughts) she was briefly worried that running off into time and space with an alien who was in the form of Jeff Winger was going to be her biggest regret because she wouldn't be doing anything worthwhile in her life (she's spent her entire life dedicated to doing good in the world) but she soon realized that there couldn't be anything more worthwhile than keeping a homicidal alien from destroying everything in his path and to tell the truth, she's isn't just doing something worthwhile for the world but for the entire freaking universe (because seriously, without her he probably would've just blown up planet after planet and laughed about it while sipping some coffee).

It brings her a peace of mind and she stops feeling so guilty for skipping out on completing her work at Greendale because while she there and was learning how to solve crimes, she's out in the universe actively preventing them (for the most part) so that counts for something.

But beyond that, she does her best to not think about Greendale because thinking about Greendale makes her think about her life there and that makes her think about Abed and Shirley and Pierce and Britta and Troy and  _Jeff_  and the pain is always there and it's always hurting and she just wants to run further and further away.

So she stays with the Master and they travel all of time and space and she keeps him in line (as best as she can) and she does these things while ignoring the way her heart skips a beat when he gets in her personal space or when he shoots her a lazy smirk because the thing is, he isn't Jeff.

But sometimes her heart doesn't seem to know the difference.

* * *

She hates herself for it because she feels like she's betraying Jeff and she clings harder and harder to her memories of him because they're hers and they're real and there's a gaping Jeff Winger shaped hole in her life and no matter how many times the Master may make her heart skip a beat and despite the fact that he wears Jeff Winger's face her heart belongs to Jeff Winger and Jeff Winger only and  _Jeff Winger isn't him_.

* * *

She misses him  _all the time_.

She doesn't think that this hurt will ever stop.

She's not sure that she wants it too.

When it stops hurting, he'll be gone for good.

Jeff is no longer in her life and this fact leaves a deep ache in her heart and it eats her up inside.

And he isn't just a hole in her heart, but in her soul. And she didn't just love him, he was one of her  _best friends_  and she's never getting him back.

Jeff Winger never existed.

She knows this. Jeff Winger was some persona that the TARDIS invented for the Master while he was stuck being a human and all of Jeff's memories, everything that made Jeff  _Jeff_ , was fake and invented and not real.

But she holds on to her memories of his soft smiles and his tight hugs and the way his eyes would fall on her the moment she would walk into the room and she doesn't care about facts because that was real _._

 _Jeff was real_.

Knowing that he loved her makes him real and makes him hers (and she was always his) and now he's gone forever.

* * *

She makes him eventually take her back to Earth.

She never stops missing or thinking about her friends (her  _family_ ) and she can't leave things unfinished forever.

She makes sure they land the exact day they left and that it's a few hours later because the group has plans to meet in the library soon.

When she walks out the TARDIS she's blinded for a moment. It's all so normal. There's a blue sky and trees with green leaves and students are walking around with backpacks and books and their biggest concern is the test they have the next class or the homework they didn't do and suddenly it's hard to breathe.

This is  _Greendale_ , where she's spent the past five years of her life preparing for her future and having adventures with her friends  _(and falling in love)_  and suddenly she's more homesick than she's ever been before because everything's changed and nothing can ever be the same again.

She can feel the Master eyeing her but she can't look at him because this is Greendale and Greendale means Jeff and right now looking up at Jeff Winger's face and knowing Jeff isn't looking back at her breaks her heart and shatters her soul and she briefly wonders just how many times she can be broken.

So she ignores his stare and they start walking to the library and she feels a sense of dread building in her the pit of her stomach because they're not here to just visit and all she wants to do is turn and run the other direction but she's Annie fucking Edison and  _she's stronger than that._

She blinks and they're at the study room (how did they get here so fast?) and she freezes at the door.

The room is empty (the group isn't due for at least another 20 minutes) and she and the Master are the first ones there and her and Jeff's things are still on the table, as if they were only gone for a moment.

She looks around the room, memories flashing in her mind.

She can see them dancing at her Halloween party. His body pressed on top of her when he thought there was an explosion in her project. Him trying to distract her while she worked. Him holding her chin gently while tenderly starting into her eyes.

She can see Jeff being there one minute and the next something alien taking his place.

She closes her eyes and her throat tightens and she can feel the tears coming and it takes everything in her to not break down right there and run away or do something drastic like scream and cry or rage against the universe for taking him away from her.

She takes that steel she knows is inside of her (the same steel that she used when she defied her parents, when she admitted herself into rehab and when she decided to go to community college; she takes that steel that has gotten her through every tough moment in her life and she brings it in full force because this is the hardest thing she's ever had to do and it's breaking her apart) and walks through the door.

She feels him staring at her. She doesn't look his way.

It's silent and tense and there's a long moment of silence before he states flatly, "I'm not going to be Jeff for them."

He doesn't need to add the ' _or_   _for you'_  because she can hear it loud and clear.

She nods. She already knew this and it wasn't like she wanted to lie to her friends about Jeff anyway.

She knows what needs to be done and it makes her want to crawl into herself and cry.

It takes her a moment to actually get the words out and it takes every ounce of steel she has inside of her to do so.

"Erase their memories. Erase everyone's memories." Her voice is strained and soft and she feels sick, but it's for the best. He nods, like it's her decision.

It kind of is (if it were up to him he'd just let Jeff Winger go missing and he's laugh at the panic and the pain that would cause people and she's not going to let that happen).

"What about you?" He asks.

"What about me?"

He rolls his eyes. "They're going to notice that you're not around anymore."

He says this as if her being with him is a given (maybe it kind of is).

She pauses. She's thought about this at length. She wouldn't make them go to Earth if she didn't have a plan and she has one, but it all depends on how she delivers it.

She knows it would just be easier to have him erase everyone's memories of her, it would make things simple, clean. The group wouldn't worry and she wouldn't have to suddenly disappear from their lives and give them all a heart attack.

But she can't do that.

They've all already lost Pierce and Troy is off traveling the world and now they've lost Jeff (even if they won't know it and that in itself breaks her heart all over again because Jeff is such a crucial part of their family) and she doesn't want them to lose her too. Their family has been getting smaller and smaller and they need her.

She needs them.

They're her family and  _she needs them_.

"Can you alter or bring back memories?" She asks slowly.

He gives her a long, calculating look. He doesn't answer right away but he eventually says, "Yes. But it isn't easy."

"Can you… can you temporarily erase memories? Can it be done to where all you need is a trigger word or something and then all your real memories come back?"

She gives herself a moment and then forces herself to look into his eyes. He's staring at her, frowning. She has to be very, very careful.

The thing is, is that the Master tends to get jealous. He gets jealous and possessive and if he thinks she's planning on eventually leaving him he may just erase her from everyone's memories just to be spiteful (or maybe he wouldn't but he's unpredictable at best and she can't risk this).

She steps closer to him and his gaze sharpens. She softens her tone and flutters her eye lashes and she allows her eyes to glisten (Jeff could never resist this look and she learned right away that the Master is very much the same way and believe her, it's come in handy more than once).

"I can't live this life anymore." She says. "I know that. Too much has changed. I've changed. And with Jeff…" Her breath hitches. "It's too hard. But… They're my family. You know that. I don't want to be cut off from them forever. One day, when I'm ready, I want to be able to come back and have them remember me."

None of this is a lie.

But it all depends on how he sees it. He's still got a small frown on his face, but his gaze has softened and all he needs is a little push and he's hers. She steps closer to him, only about a foot away from him. She holds his gaze.

"Please?" She asks softly.

That's all it takes. She sees the second the caves and he sighs loudly and she shoots him a small smile. He glares down at her but she can tell his heart isn't in it.

"Do you want me to do the same thing for your actual family?" He asks and she nods.

"Oh! And can you make sure my records here at Greendale are safe and locked?"

He looks at her suspiciously. "Why?"

She straightens. "I've worked my ass of for five years at Greendale Community College.  _Five years_. I helped save this damn school from become a sandwich shop. I may be traveling all throughout time and space with a crazy time lord but I'm not about to let all my hard work go down the drain. One day I'll come back and finish my forensic degree. Maybe someday I'll become the best forensic scientist in the entire freaking universe." She shoots him a look, as if daring him to challenge her.

"Okay." He says simply, only looking vaguely amused.

She actually smiles at him and bounces her feet a little. "Really?" She asks, perking up.

He rolls his eyes (he likes to do that a lot). "Yes. Don't ever say I never do anything for you. Honestly, I don't think you appreciate me enough—"

Suddenly her arms are being thrown around him and he's standing there stiffly, as if he's paralyzed or afraid to move (she hardly ever touches him, much less hugs him).

"Thank you." She says softly, stepping away from him after a moment.

He's staring at her again, only this time he looks a little stunned. She bites back a smile because it's so rare to see him anything other than arrogant or just straight up crazy and seeing him speechless because of a simple hug makes her feel this tender sort of fondness for him.

"How many times do I have to tell you Shirley, I don't want to be baptized and your passive aggressive guilt trips won't make me change my mind."

A voice snaps her back to what's going on and she feels her stomach drop.

She turns and there's Britta, Shirley and Abed walking through the door and Britta and Shirley are arguing and Abed is just listening as he goes to his seat to sit down.

It feels both familiar and empty and all of a sudden she wants to is cry. She's missed them _so much_ and she doesn't think she can do this.

Then Abed turns to her. He looks like he's about to say something but he stops at the look on her face. He cocks his head and his eyes flicker to the Master and then to her and a moment later his eyes narrow.

She can't do this. Not to Abed. He's already lost Troy and he can't lose her too and she turns to the Master, about to call the whole thing off but he's already looking at her.

"Go Annie." He mutters.

"But I don't think—"

"Go." He cuts her off.

She looks at him for a moment and opens her mouth to protest but he cuts her off.

"You can't be here for this. You're already changing your mind. Go wait for me somewhere. I'll find you later." He says lowly.

"Just… Abed." She says softly. He gives her a long look then nods like he understands what she means and the thing is…. She thinks he really does.

She takes in a sharp breath and bites her lip so hard she draws blood. She turns toward the back door and starts walking, feeling Abed's eyes boring into her back the entire time. She opens the door and as she walks out as she hears Abed asking "Where is Annie going? Why is she upset? Did you do something?"

She doesn't hear the Master's reply because the door is already closed and then she's running and running and there are tears blurring her vision and she feels herself breaking and a sob catches her throat and all she wants to do is run back to that damn study room and hold on tight to Abed and never let him go.

But then she's suddenly outside and she stops under a tree, feeling lost and alone and then she thinks of her leaving Abed and the others behind and she falls to her knees and starts sobbing.

* * *

She stays sitting under the tree.

She's in the back of the school and she's in an area no one really comes around on account of the dumpster that's only about 20 feet away (she can't even really smell anything) and she's never been more thankful for that damn dumpster because no one comes near her and no one asks her what's wrong and she can just wallow in her grief alone.

She's never felt more selfish in her life.

But she doesn't know what else she could do.

She thinks coming back to this life would actually kill her.

She absolutely refuses to have her memories of Jeff erased but staying here and being the only one to remember him would  _kill her_. And she's visited so many planets and she's seen so many incredible things and despite all the chaos and craziness the Master puts her through, she can't give it up.

She can't give  _him_  up.

She refuses to think about why.

* * *

She blinks and then she's looking at herself, sitting on the grass with her knees pulled up to her chest and she looks exhausted and heart broken and her eyes are red from crying.

The mirror opens, the frame serving as a door opening and the Master's head pops out.

"I still don't understand why you keep the TARDIS chameleon circuit as a mirror. As if people wouldn't find it strange that a mirror is standing upright all by itself."

It's an old argument, one that they've had on a numerous occasions. Her words have no bite and her voice sounds flat and exhausted to her own ears.

He leans against the doorway of the TARDIS and studies her.

"The TARDIS and I created a cloak of sorts on everyone's memories. It's a lot like the way the fob watch works for time lords, only this is kind of the opposite." He holds up two objects in his hand. One is a purple pen and the other is her apartment key.

"As soon as you write with this purple pen, everyone's memories of you will come back at the moment that you start writing and only as long as you're here on Earth. But if you decide to write with this pen in five years' time, then your friends are going to remember that you were here one day in 2014 and the next day you were gone and for some reason they forgot all about you. So be sure that whatever year you decide to give your friends back their memories, it's something you can handle because they may have questions and you're going to have to find some way to answer them."

"And the key?"

"This is designed especially for Abed." The Master says. "All you have to do is put the key into you and Abed's apartment lock and turn it. As soon as you do that, he gets his memories back. And don't worry about someone changing the locks. If someone decides they want to change it, the minute they get within a foot of the door, they'll forget what they were going to do and they'll go straight home."

She feels a rush of that tender sort of fondness and an immense feeling of gratitude because he knows that Abed is special to her and how practically impossible it is for her to walk away from him and the fact that he's trying to make this a little easier means everything to her.

She stands up and takes the objects out of his hands, staring at them as she places them in her palm. The idea that these two mundane objects hold the key to her existence here on Earth is more than a little surreal.

The key is carved with the complex circles and swirls that are all kinds of different sizes and the pen is designed the same way.

It's beautiful.

She recognizes the script, she's seen it in various places all over the TARDIS and she realizes just how much work he had to put into this and she looks up at him and gives him a sad sort of smile.

"Thank you." She says softly. It's not enough to express just how incredibly grateful she is that he did this for her but she doesn't think that she needs to. He just  _knows_.

The Master tilts his head and his expression is unreadable. He nods once, accepting her thanks.

"There's one more thing." He says slowly. "I didn't actually erase anyone's memories of Jeff. I cloaked them, like I did with their memories of you. If you ever want your friends to have their full memories back, you just need to take the pen apart and write with the ink reservoir on its own. With the key, you just need to turn the lock counter clockwise. And yes, it will turn counter clockwise."

"Why would you do that?" She asks, stunned.

His doesn't meet her eyes. "I know how much you hate lying to your friends so I wanted to give you an out if you ever needed one. And I know that Abed is important to you and he's the last person you want to lie to and honestly, that kid has a built in bullshit radar and when he gets his memories back he'll know something is off. If you want, you can just unlock his memories of Jeff. He can handle the truth."

He stumbles a bit when she launches herself into his arms and he stiffens, but this time it's only for a moment and he hesitates but his arms eventually wrap around her and tighten, pulling her close.

"You have no idea how much this means to me." She mumbles into his chest. "Seriously. Thank you."

He doesn't answer, just holds her a little bit tighter and only loosens his grip when she starts to let go. He slowly lets his arms drop.

"Ready?" He asks gruffly. The TARDIS door is open and all it takes is two steps to walk in and she'll disappear forever.

(Maybe not forever but it sure feels like it).

"I'll meet you in a minute." She says, stepping back. He gives her a searching look and then nods, turning away and shutting the door softly.

She leans against the door and she takes a long look at Greendale.

She's cried all of her tears and her heart has already been shattered too many times today in order for it to break anymore and all she feels is hollow.

She briefly wonders what it is that she's doing. Is she running away? Is this healthy? Has she really found a new life? Is this the right thing to do?

She really doesn't know. But she's already made up her mind and there's no turning back now. Besides, she's more than just a little entangled with this time lord and it's kind of a done deal.

She looks in the direction of the library, as if her gaze would bring the remaining members of the Greendale seven in order for her to see them one last time.

She's both disappointed and relieved when no one walks out the doors because she's not sure if she could really leave if she sees them.

She takes one last look at Greendale, memories of paintball and serenades and dances and Britta and Troy and Pierce and Shirley and Abed and  _Jeff_  flashing in her mind and she lets it wash over her and her throat tightens and she realizes that she still does in fact have some tears left to shed.

But she slowly turns around and pushes the door open, walking into the TARDIS, not once looking back.

* * *

Things aren't as tense between them afterwards.

She starts looking him in the eye more and her hugs get a little more frequent and she actually starts smiling around him and she very slowly allows herself to get just a little bit closer to him.

He tells her she can call him Koschei. She refused to call him the Master (she only called him the Master twice and both times were an absolute necessity) and he tells her she has to call him  _something_  because it's ridiculous that they've been traveling together for so long and she doesn't call him by any name.

He casually tells her that Koschei is who he was before he became the Master but since she needs a name for him, she can use that one (he doesn't meet her eyes when he tells her and she can tell just how big of a deal this is and she feels a burst of tenderness erupt in her chest and it's a feeling that has been getting more and more familiar).

She just smiles softly and replies a simple "okay" and that's that.

* * *

She almost forgets just how dangerous he can be.

* * *

The Master has plans to destroy the universe.

Starting with planet Earth.

They have a huge fight about it when she finds out because, well it's fairly obvious.

She has more than slight problem with his  _plans_  and she makes the Earth and the rest of the universe off limits.

He doesn't take it well.

* * *

See, she may be kind of new to the whole traveling through time and space thing (especially compared to him), but she's done her research and her snooping (when he's not around) and the TARDIS helps her out (it likes her) and she knows who the Doctor is and what he does (she's met him once and he kind of almost killed her) and she's caught glimpses of him when he's chased after her and the Master (he never gets close enough to ever say anything to her and she has a feeling the Master is keeping her away from him on purpose and she doesn't really know why because it's not like she's going to run off with some alien who calls himself "the Doctor" and doesn't even have any kind of medical license and she wants nothing to do with him anyway because he's the reason that Jeff is gone).

She's knows a bit of what the Master has done in the past (she wonders if she's sick and twisted for staying) and the things she knows both horrify and sicken her, but she can't find it in her to leave.

He needs someone to keep him in line and she needs to be needed and he's the last link to Jeff that she has and she's already lost Jeff and she can't lose him too.

And yes, Jeff is a part of him but she's also come to care about him as an individual (no matter how crazy he is or how crazy he drives her) and she just can't let him go.

She can't let either of them go.

* * *

At least, not until the fight.

* * *

The thing is, is that the Master hates the Doctor and the Doctor loves Earth, therefore the Master hates Earth and he decided it was a great idea to take over the world (again) along with killing and torturing whoever and whatever (he didn't care as long as someone was hurting and the Doctor was helpless) and when she found out (the TARDIS really, really likes her) she had never felt more betrayed or been more livid.

She fights with him for  _two hours_  about how these are her people and that Earth is her home (and she tries to get him to remember how much he cares about their friends but in order for him to care about them he'd actually have, you know, a heart. Ironically he has two and she's never met anyone more heartless than him). Then she tells him that it's her or his game with the Doctor (with her people dying in the crossfire) and after a moment he sneers at her.

"If you don't like it babe, the door is that way." His smirks as if he's amused but his arms are crossed and his body is stiff and his eyes glitter with something that scares her.

It feels like a slap to the face.

She turns and walks away without another word.

* * *

She's sitting on a large rock next to a beautiful fountain, sipping some drink that she has no clue what its contents are but it's fruity and delicious and tastes vaguely of peaches.

The sky is a deep purple as the three suns are setting and the gorgeous tints of red and purple make her feel very alone and very, very far away from home.

She fingers the key that's hung around her neck.

It's been a week since she walked out on the Master and while she absolutely would not be part of the destruction of her people, she wishes she had walked back into the TARDIS and grabbed a coat or money or politely asked to be taken back home because walking out into a random planet with random aliens with no money and no means of translation is both very terrifying and very, very stupid.

But she made ends meet. She's Annie Edison and Annie Edison doesn't get nothing done; whether it be on Earth or lost somewhere randomly in time and space.

Plus by some miracle, a few aliens in the local town speak English (or, a very rough version of it), so that helped (she likes to think that this was the only reason he let her walk out the door).

She feels more than sees someone sitting down next to her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

She turns to her right and stills.

"What are you doing here?" She asks flatly.

He doesn't answer and he doesn't turn to her. He smiles a little wistfully, somehow looking graceful in his tall gangly body as he leans back and watches the suns setting.

"I had a…. friend once, a very good friend." He says suddenly and his tone holds a deep sense of sorrow and it's underlying some kind of heartbreak and despite her feelings for him, she finds herself leaning in.

"She was good and kind and compassionate and she came into my life when I needed her the most and she burned bright like the sun, all pink and yellow. It was unexpected, maybe even unwanted, at first. But she… She made me better. She reminded me of what it meant to live." He closes his eyes briefly, as if picturing her in his mind.

"Shouldn't you be out saving Earth or something?" She asks, turning away from him. She doesn't want to feel sorry for him. She doesn't want to feel anything other than hatred for him.

He's the reason Jeff is gone.

He sighs tiredly, his fingers tugging on his bow tie. "I wouldn't be here if Earth were in any real danger."

They're silent. She doesn't want to speak to him and he seems content with watching the suns go down.

"He's better with you." He says, still not looking at her. She's freezes at his words and she isn't sure why her heart is suddenly pounding and she feels an ache flare deep in her chest.

"I'm not sure what's your definition of 'better,' but I feel like leaving me on a random planet in the middle of whenever after arguing about wanting to  _kill my entire species_  shouldn't qualify as him being better." She states bitterly.

He's quiet for a moment. "We're old, Annie." He says softly. "We're impossibly old and we've been doing this for so long and he's been through so much and I think he doesn't know anything else."

"And that makes it okay?" She snaps.

"Of course not." He says gently. "But I've known him since we were children, Annie. I've never seen him care about anyone the way he cares about you. He's done…. We've both done unspeakable things. Terrible, horrible, atrocious things. He's insane, at best. If it weren't for you, I would cuff him to me immediately and drag him kicking and screaming to my TARDIS and lock him up until the day he died. But… I don't think I need to anymore. He tries with you. When he's with you, I see something in him that I thought died long ago."

Her heart constricts painfully.

"And what? I am to him what that girl was to you? There's a difference, Doctor. You want to save the world. He wants to destroy it." Her voice wavers.

"Jeff Winger is a part of him." He says softly. "He isn't completely gone."

She feels herself cracking. "I see flashes of him, every day. But it's not the same. It can't be the same. Having flashes isn't having  _him_." She says a little desperately. "Jeff never would've… We were supposed to… I just…  _It's so hard_."

The ache feels like a knife in her chest and it's difficult to breathe.

The Doctor is silent.

"I'm sorry." He finally says quietly.

She doesn't answer. She doesn't know if she can. What is there for her to say anyway? She can't say it's not his fault. She has no forgiveness.

Her insides are breaking and it feels like in any moment she's going to burst. Whether it's with tears or with anger, she doesn't know and she's desperate not to find out (but at this point she doesn't think she has much of a choice).

He turns to look at her, his eyes old and sad. Tears are slowly rolling down her cheeks. When did that happen?

"I miss him." She whispers.

"I know." He says sorrowfully.

The tears start rolling faster and faster and then she's sobbing; she's sobbing and sobbing and sobbing because all she wants is for him to be back, for her to be whole again and she doesn't know how much more she can take of this and the ache is back in full swing and it's ripping her apart.

The Doctor is holding her, making shushing noises and rubbing small circles on her back. It feels so much like something Shirley or Britta would do and she feels another deep ache inside her (one that's different, but not unfamiliar). She presses herself closer to the Doctor, wishing, hoping, praying that he can make it better.

He's supposed to be a Doctor, right?

"Annie?"

She hears his voice. It's gruff and sad and familiar and she slowly lifts her head from the Doctor's chest and turns around.

He's standing there, his hands in his pockets. He's wearing nice black pants and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up but his hair is unkempt and he hasn't shaved in at least a week; he looks exhausted and there are actual bags under his eyes.

Annie's never wanted to see anyone more than him.

He's got a frown etched on his face and his eyes flicker from her tear stained one to the arms around her waist and his frown grows deeper.

But before he can say anything else, she's flying to him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest.

His arms immediately circle her waist, holding her tightly, possessively, and he presses his cheek to her hair.

"You Annie. Fuck it all to hell, it's going to be you Annie." He mutters against her hair, talking to himself. "Why the fuck would I let some puny little human give me an ultimatum and actually go along with it when she doesn't even…" He stops, then sighs and slowly pushes her slightly away from him to look down at her, but keeping his arms tight around her waist.

"I couldn't last a week without you. I had the plans and everything. I won't go into detail, but they were pretty gruesome. It was going to be fantastic." He stares down at her, as if confused, annoyed and relieved all at the same time.

"I won't say I'm sorry for spoiling your plans to destroy my home." She says with a small smile. The Master sighs, shaking his head.

"You've made me weak, human." He says it without any bite. "The TARDIS missed you." He adds in a softer tone.

"I missed her too. More than I thought I would." She replies, staring into his eyes. He pulls her even closer and something flashes in his eyes. She recognizes that look.

She'd seen it on that exact face a million times in a different life.

She gently pulls away from him and links their arms. She rests her head against his arm and sighs.

"Let's go home."

* * *

She dreams of Jeff that night.

He looks exactly like the last time she saw him.

They're in the study room and he's standing with his hands in his pockets and his hair has that perfectly mussed look he'd always been so proud of and his scruff is perfectly trimmed and he has his favorite grey sweater and his favorite nice pants and he looks like he's been waiting for her.

"Jeff?" Her voice is small and uncertain and she never thought her imagination could be so vivid or be this cruel.

"Hey Annie." He says softly.

She stands frozen for a moment and then she's launching herself at him, her arms flying around his neck and his arms are tight around her, crushing her and holding her as close as he can, like he never wants to let her go.

"Is this a dream?" Her voice is breaking and there are tears running down her cheeks (she briefly thinks she's done far too much crying recently but then she doesn't really care because dream or not this is  _Jeff_  and he's here and she's in his arms and she never thought she'd ever have this again).

"No, it's the TARDIS."

She pulls away from him sharply (not enough to where she's no longer in his arms, but her hands fall to his chest and he keeps his arms around her, close and tight).

"What did you say?" She asks softly, barely breathing.

"The TARDIS, Annie. I don't know how she did it or what she's doing but right now I'm separated from…  _Him_ … And he has no idea what's going on. She's doing something with our…  _his_  subconscious. I don't know. It's hard for her and she's really straining herself to do this because she doesn't want him to find out. She really likes you."

Annie would normally be a little skeptical because this feels too good to be true but she's seen so many crazy things and she's had such a hard week and she's been missing him  _so much_  and all she feels is a rush of gratitude as she reminds herself to thank the TARDIS at least a million times for what she's done if all of this is actually real.

"So you're here?" She asks in disbelief. "You're really here?"

"Depends on how you look at here, but yeah. I mean this is happening in your dream I guess but the TARDIS is doing something with both of our subconscious because I can actually feel you and—"

She's kissing him. She's kissing him like she always wanted to and never had the chance to do so and he's caught off guard for only a split second before his mouth is slanting over hers and his arms are painfully gripping her waist but she doesn't take any notice because suddenly he's making this groaning noise when she scratches her nails against the back of his neck and it gets her heart racing and she bites his lower lip and then he's cupping her ass and she jumps and wraps her legs around his hips and he doesn't even stumble as he walks them to the couch and he lays her gently down on her back and then clothes are coming off and she moans into his mouth as he grinds into her and she's falling and falling and it's thrilling and intoxicating and she doesn't think she can ever stop.

There's this blinding intensity to every kiss and every touch and it's possessive and passionate and frantic and he's claiming her and she's marking him and it all makes her heart hurt in the best way possible and it's when he's deep inside of her that she's finally whole again.

* * *

"Why did we never do that again?" Annie's lightly tracing shapes over Jeff's chest and his arms are wrapped tight around her and there's a blanket draped over them (Annie made him check and see if there were blankets in the cabinet against the wall— she had placed some there in case of emergencies— and he moaned and groaned about her making him do things but he got up anyway after she pouted and batted her eyelashes and he found the blankets so he grabbed one and tucked her into his side and placed the blanket over them and she'd never felt more giddy).

"Because I was an idiot who was emotionally stunted and didn't know how to handle my feelings." He says lazily as he rubs small circles on her back and she looks up at him, surprised.

"Is Jeff Winger actually talking feelings to me?" She mocks a gasp. He rolls his eyes and shoots her a look.

"Apparently I never existed and my conscious or non-conscious or whatever I am is being projected into your dream where we just had very real, very hot and mind blowing sex and my body is now inhabited by some alien Time Lord who doesn't understand the first thing about proper face care so I think we're a little past denying any feelings at this point." He says dryly.

Annie's quiet for a moment.

"Things do seem a little complicated." She says. Jeff breathes out a soft laugh, but it sounds tired and sad and he holds her a little tighter.

"How do you know so much about K—him?" Annie asks suddenly, shifting herself so she's leaning on his chest and looking up at him, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Well…" He says slowly, "It's weird. It was like I was there in the study room one minute and then everything was hurting and I heard drum beats and it was loud and then everything went black. The next minute suddenly I feel like I'm being sucked into a vacuum or something and I'm seeing these memories of him and of you and what's happened so far and it's running through my mind so fast I don't even have time to think. And then I'm here."

He pauses for a moment, looking at her and his voice turns strained. "He's dangerous Annie. I know that… he  _means something_  to you but I know the things that he's done and it's too dangerous for you to stay with him. I know you feel something for him but…"

He trails off when she palms his cheek and he leans into her touch, closing his eyes.

"Jeff Winger, always trying to protect me." She says fondly.

"Someone has too." He mumbles. She's quiet for a moment, staring at his face, her heart swelling with emotion.

"I don't love him." She says softly. His eyes pop open, boring into her and she feels her heart fluttering. "It's complicated, I'll admit that. I do care about him. It's hard not too, not after everything we've been through. He needs me, at the very least to keep him in line because he can't be alone without going off the rails." She's silent for another moment, her voice cracking.

"And it's  _so hard_  Jeff… Looking at you every day and knowing you aren't looking back at me. I miss you  _every day_. Sometimes so much that I can't even breathe. I left Greendale because I couldn't be there. I left because I couldn't handle you being gone and being the only one who remembers you. I let him mess with our friends minds because I was selfish with my pain."

"Annie…"

"I know how dangerous he is. I know what kind of things he's done in the past. And I know that I'm risking my life every moment I'm with him but  _I can't leave him_. I see flashes of you in him, Jeff and it kills me because I'm always waiting to see them again. He's the last thing I have of you and I can't let go of that. Don't you get it Jeff? I can't leave him because  _I love you_."

Jeff pulls her down to him and his hands are in her hair and he's kissing her desperately like his life depends on it and she's going to be taken away from him at any moment.

He pulls back, slowing down after a long moment and he closes his eyes, his forehead resting against hers.

"I can't have anything happen to you Annie." He says huskily, cupping her face for a moment. Then his hands slide down her back and he pulls her as close as he possibly can. Her arms rest on his chest and her big blue eyes stare up at him, waiting for him to finish.

"It kills me that you're with him. It kills me that you're risking your life and you're traveling the universe with a homicidal maniac. But I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to live a good, happy life, even if it's without me. Especially without me. I wanted that before and I want it even more now."

" _Jeff_ …"

"I want you to go back to Earth and find some nice guy who may not give you the universe but someone who'd give you the damn world and treat you like a fucking princess. Someone who'd let you rule the world and give you 2.5 kids and a white picket fence because I know that's what you've always wanted. I want you to live that life because it's safe and I want that  _more than anything_. But if that's not what's going to make you happy anymore, and I want you to know that it kills me to say this, then stay with him. You make him better. He's calmer and he tries with you. He won't ever hurt you. I can feel it. I want you to be happy because  _I love you Annie_. So let me go. Let me go and be happy. It's okay. No, Annie please don't cry. You know what your tears do to me."

He wipes them away gently with this thumb, cupping her cheek.

"Don't you dare tell me to let you go Jeff Winger!" She says angrily. "I won't! I won't let go of you! You're mine and I don't care what you say."

"He loves you, you know." He says softly.

"I love _you_." She replies firmly. His eyes are rimmed with red but he smiles when she presses her lips against his.

"I love you too." He mumbles against her mouth. She pulls away and peppers soft kisses all over his face and then she goes back and kisses him deeply, her hand moving down to cup him and he immediately starts hardening.

"Annie…" He says warningly.

"I don't know how much time we have left and I don't want to argue with you, I just want to be with you, okay?" She pulls back and his eyes are half lidded and dark and his lips are swollen and he's hard as a rock and she feels a deep sense of satisfaction in knowing she was the one who caused it.

"No arguments here." He says as he turns her over, laying his body on top of hers, his arms resting on either side of her head.

"Then shut up and kiss me already old man." She giggles at his look of mock outrage and then starts laughing when he growls and starts tickling her. Her laughs turn into moans when he lowers his head to her breast and starts kissing her.

"I'm not old." He bites her breast lightly then kisses it and she just laughs.

"I love you.  _I love you I love you I love you_." She says as she wraps her legs around him, pulling him close. Jeff pulls his head up, looking down at her. His expression is soft and full of love and tenderness and her heart swells. He kisses her nose lightly and she giggles again.

"I love you too, Annie. More than you could ever know."

She beams at him and hums into his mouth as he kisses her.

If his grip is a little too tight or if her kisses are a little too hard, neither of them notice because this moment is theirs and theirs alone.

It's desperate and perfect and they're drowning in each other, making this moment last as long as they can because they know it won't last forever.

* * *

Later, when the lights are off and the blanket is draped over them and Annie is tucked into Jeff she holds him close and whispers against his chest, "I don't want to wake up without you."

It's quiet for a long moment.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you more than anything in this world, Annie and I'm always going to be with you. Just remember that." His voice sounds choked and her heart breaks in a way that's she knows won't ever be able to be fixed.

She's crying and he can feel the tears against his chest and he's shushing her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"You're a good man, Jeff Winger. You're good and wonderful and I'm never going to let you go because I love you and I refuse to say goodbye."

"Then… just sleep with me." He says softly. "Let me fall asleep with you in my arms and let's pretend that we're going to wake up together and that tomorrow Shirley, Britta and Abed are going to walk in and that the girls are going to have a heart attack and then scream at me for defiling you and Abed is going to make some remark about how he saw this coming the whole time and it makes sense because I'm Joey and you're my Pacey and then Troy walks in, surprising everybody and then everyone is distracted from our nakedness and then we make a run for it to my place so we can continue having hot, mind blowing sex in peace."

"That sounds perfect." She mumbles, his voice soothing her and she feels exhaustion creeping up on her and she tries to fight it.

"It's going to happen, you just wait and see." His voice sounds sad and distant and she can feel herself almost slipping away but Jeff's grip on her tightens, as if he knows what's happening.

"I love you Jeff." She tells him, pressing herself to him, trying to hold onto that feeling.

"I know." He says but his voice is faint and his grip doesn't feel so tight anymore and she momentarily panics but then she feels him press a kiss against her forehead and he whispers "I love you so much Annie," against her skin and she sighs, happy and content for a brief moment.

Then everything goes black.

* * *

She wakes up, her eyes blinking and she's momentarily confused because she doesn't know where she is.

Then memories from the night before start rushing through her mind and she immediately sits up and turns, looking for him.

She's in her room in the TARDIS and she's alone.

She waits a moment, as if waiting for her room to transform into the study room but it stays her room, her friends don't suddenly walk in and Jeff is still gone. She can still feel her arms around him and the look in his eyes when he told her he loved her and all she wants to do is go back to that moment and hold on to him forever but she knows she can't and something in her breaks.

She feels tears start building in her eyes and the lights flicker in her room, as if trying to get her attention. She feels a concerned hum in her mind and she lets out a sob. She immediately feels a soothing in her mind, as if it were trying to absorb some of her pain.

Annie breathes out a harsh breathe and allows a few tears to fall before she tells herself to get it together because she knows Jeff wouldn't want this.

"I'm sorry, girl." She says aloud after a moment, her voice thick with unshed tears. She leans against the wall and rubs it soothingly and it takes everything in her to keep herself together.

"It's just… I thought…" She trails off. "Thank you, for what you did. And I don't know what you did or how you did it but I know it was difficult for you and you have no idea just how much it means to me. But it's just that… I love him, you know? I love him and he isn't here and it's  _so hard_."

She feels the TARDIS hum in her mind, and it feels sad and understanding.

Suddenly she hears a big boom and a string of familiar alien curses and Annie's eyes flicker to her door.

She doesn't have Jeff and the pain has never been more raw all she wants to do is lock herself up in her room and cry her heart out but she also knows that she needs to check on the Master.

If anything, he'd be a good distraction from everything she's feeling right now and that's something that she desperately needs.

So she gets up and numbly runs through the motions of brushing her teeth, pulling on some sweats and a Greendale t-shirt before pulling her hair into a pony tail and walking out the door.

She turns the corner and walks into the console room and sees that the Master has hooked up some large machine to the TARDIS console and he's trying to make adjustments but sparks keep flying and there's another loud boom and the Master jumps back, scowling.

"Oh come off it, you old cow! Don't complain! It doesn't hurt a bit! Ow!" He jumps back as a spark lands near his foot.

"She doesn't like it when you call her that. And what are you doing? You know what— don't tell me. I don't want to know." Annie says exasperated.

The Master grins at her and Annie's heart flips because he looks so much like Jeff in that moment and memories from last night start flashing through her mind and it takes everything in her to push them away because the TARDIS has kept the Master in the dark about the whole thing and she doesn't want to be the one to change that.

His grin slowly fades when he sees the look on her face and he studies her, a frown slowly appearing.

"Is everything alright? Do we need to talk about yesterday? I am sorry for leaving you, I did say that. And I did tell you that I wouldn't have left you if there weren't people who spoke your language. Wait, did the Doctor say something? He's lying, I swear! Okay, maybe he's not lying. But I was completely innocent. Okay maybe not so innocent. But it wasn't my fault!" He's rambling now and he's started to pace and his hair is flying all over the place and it strikes Annie that she better put a stop to this and say something before he starts losing it.

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just… nice to be back. That's all."

He stops and stares at her and she does her best to tuck away the memories of Jeff into the back in her mind, safe and locked away for her to cherish and mourn later.

She's been with the Master long enough to where looking at his face isn't so hard anymore because even though he and Jeff have the same face, he isn't Jeff (except for those few flashes when he is but now isn't one of those moments) and the important thing is that she can tell the difference.

It makes this whole thing easier because if she saw Jeff  _every_  time she looked at the Master (like she used too), there would be no way she would be able to stand in front of him right now without breaking down.

He's still staring at her a little suspiciously but then he nods, apparently deciding that she was telling the truth.

She gives him a small smile before walking over and sitting on the couch that the TARDIS had put out for her and watches the Master go back to work, fumbling with the wires and attempting to get the TARDIS to cooperate. She rolls her eyes as he starts cursing when the TARDIS shocks him again.

Suddenly she's grateful for the Master because watching him work is keeping her from going to her room and wallowing in her grief and while she knows she's going to cry her heart out later and while Jeff is always, always in her mind, she's thankful for the distraction because being with the Master is keeping her from facing her heart break and she doesn't want to deal with the pain right now.

Her mind goes back to this past week's memories and her run in with the Doctor and suddenly she remembers something and says, "The Doctor did mention something to me though."

The Master stills and turns to her, eyeing her cautiously. "Lies. All lies. Listen to nothing that liar says because he's a dirty liar and he hates me."

She rolls her eyes, fighting back a smile. "It had nothing to do with you dummy. And I doubt the Doctor would lie to me about you."

He snorts and she continues, ignoring him.

"He was talking about some girl, someone who used to travel with him I think. He sounded so sad. He called her pink and yellow. Was she an alien or something?"

The Master leaned against the machine behind him, only to jump back a second later when the TARDIS shocked him again. He glared at the console, grumbling under his breath.

He turned around, looking thoughtful. "No, she wasn't an alien. She was a human. Powerful, that one. She looked into the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex into her body and became a time goddess. She called herself Bad Wolf. Most powerful companion he ever had."

Annie's eyes widened. "What happened to her?"

"The idiot took the vortex out of her and she became human again. She got locked away in a parallel universe." He'd turned away by now, focusing on his work but Annie was intrigued.

"Wait there's more than one universe? Didn't the Doctor go after her? What happened to her?"

The Master waved a hand dismissively, "Of course there's more than one universe. They're locked of course, that whole situation happened because there was a battle between this universe and a parallel one and she got pulled in and was lost."

"And he didn't even try to bring her back?"

He looked back at her curiously but he continued, "He couldn't. If he tried to bring her back it would rip apart the fabric of time and space and everything would collapse on itself. She came back once though. Hopped from universe to universe to find him again and she did and she helped save the world. She really was brilliant. In the end though he took her back and left her with a human version of himself, so I suppose that's something. If you care about that sort of thing."

Annie was quiet while the Master studied her.

"Why are you so interested anyway?"

"He was so sad when he talked about her. I was just wondering why."

The Master hummed and then went back to work while Annie thought about the Doctor.

He was so sad, so old and he knew heart break. He was someone who understood. Maybe she'd look him up someday, ask him for pointers or something.

She stared at the Master, thoughtful.

"You're so old." She said suddenly and the Master turned and shot her a look.

"I'm a Time Lord, Annie." He said flatly.

She chuckled and said, "That's not what I meant. I mean, yes you are old. But I meant was… Well… The Doctor had his heart broken. But he moved on. He found another companion. Your kind live for so long… Human lives must be like a blink of an eye to you."

The Master turned back to her, his expression haughty. "Yes. Humans are like little babies, young and stupid and annoying and you all disgust me. The Doctor is the one who's always been obsessed with them."

Annie shoots him a glare and he just grins.

"But do you really think the Doctor moved on from her?" He asks seriously. Annie thinks back to her conversation with the alien, his face so young but his eyes so sorrowful. She shakes her head slowly.

"Pain, Annie, is the same for everyone. Aliens and human alike. If strong enough, it rips you apart to the point where you'll never be whole again. The Doctor loved her, you know. And then he lost her. Forever. You don't just get over that kind of loss, no matter how many lives you live." He's staring at her and his gaze softens and she knows they're both thinking about Jeff.

Her heart starts to ache.

"You know… I never understood him. Why he choose humans. Your kind are bumbling idiots and your people are so easy to take over that it's pathetic, really. But... I suppose not all of you are so bad. You, for example, aren't completely repulsive and don't make me want to vomit. Not often, at least."

She snorts, rolling her eyes.

The Master pauses for a long moment, staring at her as an unreadable expression crosses his face.

"I would've done it Annie." He says.

"Done what?"

He shrugs. "If you were trapped in another world, the universe be damned. I would've torn apart time itself to get you back." He says seriously.

Annie feels a rush of strange, conflicting emotions and she stands and walks over to the Master. He stares down at her, his eyes curious and they widen as she reaches up and presses her lips against his cheek. He freezes, his eyes going comically wide and she breathes out a soft laugh.

"I know." She says softly. "Although I wouldn't recommend it." She adds sternly a moment later.

She wraps her arms around his torso and sighs. The Master stiffens, then slowly relaxes and soon his arms are around her as well. His chin rests on her head and they stand there, content for the moment.

"I'm sorry." He says softly.

"I know."

And she does.

* * *

She misses him.

There's an ache inside of her that never goes away and there's a Jeff Winger shaped hole in her life and she feels it in deep in her soul and she knows that she won't ever feel whole again without him.

Almost every night she goes to sleep, her heart pounding in hopes she would see him but she wakes up every morning feeling so much more than just a little disappointed.

And she misses her friends. She misses Greendale. She misses the crazy antics she and her friends would get into and she misses the dean and she even misses her parents (she thinks about going back all the time but she still isn't ready and she wonders if she ever will be).

But things get easier with the Master. She doesn't see Jeff every time she looks into his eyes and when there are flashes of him, they don't always make her want to break down (it's not easy and she gets this wistful, pained look on her face but she doesn't cry anymore—at least, not in front of him and she thinks that's progress).

And they're running, always running. Running from places, to places, never stopping. They run into the Doctor more than once and she knows he's keeping an eye on them and she finds that she doesn't hate him quite like she used too (she's intrigued by him and one of these days she's going to make the Master take her to him because she has so many questions about everything).

She meets all kinds of people and all kinds of aliens and she gets praised in some planets and in others she's wanted for execution and it's this grand adventure that never stops and she grows to care more and more for the Master and he sort of becomes her best friend.

She keeps him from doing anything too terrible or getting too crazy and she takes pride in the fact that he listens to her (no matter how much he complains about her ruining his fun).

And she sees the way he looks at her, the way his eyes go soft or the way his gaze lingers on her (she knows now that it's love but she doesn't think he does). She recognizes that look because she's seen it so many times on that same face in another life and her heart always starts pounding and she learns she can't hate herself for what she feels.

She knows she cares about him deeply and he has a very special place in her heart but she's content with their relationship and she thinks for the most part he is too and while she grows to love him, she's not  _in_  love with him (sometimes she thinks that she could be, but their relationship is so complicated even without the whole  _Jeff of it all_  so she brushes it aside and tries not to give it too much thought).

Because the thing is, despite how much better things are between Annie and the Master and despite how much she cares about him, her heart is permanently broken and it always has and always will belong to Jeff Winger.

She wonders what he would say if he saw her now. He's always there, in the back of her mind. She knows that technically he doesn't exist, but his love was the most real thing she'd ever experienced in her life and knowing how much he loved her gives her the strength and will to go on every day.

She never stops thinking about him and she misses him  _every day_  and sometimes she stares into the distance, her thoughts a million miles away and she's lost in the memories of Jeff and her old life and suddenly the pain is so fresh and sharp that it feels like a knife in her chest and she longs for him  _so strongly_  that she can't even breathe.

But then the Master is there with some crazy scheme or a new revenge plot and she's forced to bring herself out of her pain and then she's off running, stopping or (depending on the situation) helping him with his newest plan. He's the best distraction she could ever ask for.

But Annie keeps that promise she made to Jeff that night because she never says goodbye and she never lets go of him.

And she never, not even for a second, stops loving him.

**Author's Note:**

> GUYS THIS WAS A MONSTER FIC AND IT'S THE LONGEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN ONE GO AND OMG I'M SO GLAD IT'S DONE.
> 
> I always have such a hard time with endings, I'm kind of on the fence with this one..
> 
> PLEASE tell me your thoughts! Also, if you see any grammatical errors please let me know (politely). I don't have a beta.
> 
> I have ideas to continue this as a series of one-shots. I'll probably upload deleted scenes and missing moments and maybe some continuation one-shots. Again, let me know your thoughts and please please PLEASE REVIEW.


End file.
